Episode 016: Free on Craigslist

Summary
Kris and David discuss the perils of moving, and have problems abandoning unwanted stuff on Craigslist.

Transcript
KRIS: Hey David, ya' there? DAVID: Yeah, hey, what's up? KRIS: OK. Umm, let me just send this out and then we will be all ready for Tweet Me Harder 16. Number 16. DAVID: OK, you gonna Twitter it? KRIS: Yeah, I just did. DAVID: All right, let me retweet you. KRIS: Gettin' ready to roll on this one. (Pause) Check check check. Sounds good here. Sounds good here, recording. Always recording, always sounding right. Perfect, as usual. Looks good. How about your levels, let's hear some...let's hear some check. DAVID: Testing, testing. Hey, I hate vitamins. Vitamins are a conspiracy. Hello, testing testing. KRIS: (chuckles) All right, that..that looks good. That was good. OK. DAVID: OK, here, let me play this, uh...

{Accordion Sting}

KRIS: Yep. DAVID: Sound good, levels? OK. KRIS: Yep, that's good. OK! Umm... DAVID: Blegh, OK, hold on. Let me just get set up here. Let me get all my Twitters and my search hashtags... KRIS: Yeah, I hate having to line up...You know what, one of the things I worry about with Tweetdeck is that it's going to use up all the API calls and that I'm going to miss out on people trying to participate. Because it was pinging my direct messages.... DAVID: Oh, right. KRIS: ...'cause who cares? DAVID: (Sigh) Blegh, are there people listening yet? Are we just, waiting for people to come into the show? KRIS: We can...we can go. We got about 31 people in here. Unless, I mean, you wanna wait. But I think we're good to go. I'm ready to just move on. Move it forward. DAVID: We got a couple minutes. Let's wait until the room populates a little bit. KRIS: OK. All right. Just check my levels a little more. This sounds...seems fine. I know what I'm doing. DAVID: But you're recording. Like, you got everything. Everything is like your, on, on your...sort of, in your computer recording, and... KRIS: Yeah, my computer's recording. And yeah, and I mean. Yeah. I got it. I got it. It's totally...fine. Check check, record. Yep, see. It's working right now. DAVID: Hey umm, actually....(drums fingers on desk) KRIS: You wanna just do this? Let's just go for it. Whaddaya say? DAVID: Are we broadcasting right now? KRIS: Yeah. Yeah, we're broadcasting. DAVID: Can we...we have just a second before, can you...just....I'm so...whoever's listening, I'm sorry guys. Can you just take us down real quick? I just want to go over something, and then we'll be back in just a minute. KRIS: No, why? I mean, why do we need to go down on this? DAVID: No, it's...I mean, while we have a minute real quick, I just want to....before we get into the show, I just want to... KRIS: Well, I mean, all right. But we should probably just start. We should probably just get started on the show this week. DAVID: It'll just take a minute. I just want to go over one thing real quick. Because I just want to make sure before we start this next show that we just get all the...sort of the technical stuff is just dialed in and everything, because... KRIS: It's...It's totally fine man. Don't, don't worry a bit. It's, the technical stuff is, is well in hand. DAVID: Just take us down for a second KRIS: Uhh, all right. OK. All right, we're down. DAVID: Umm.....what happened with last week's show, umm... KRIS: What? DAVID: I...the uh, the show 15... KRIS: Yeah. What's, what's wrong with that. I sent that file to you and, um...didja put it up? DAVID: Well, I listened to it and umm... KRIS: Oh. DAVID: I...I just, did something seem a little weird about it? Like it was, it was, um, I don't know if it was out of sync or...? KRIS: (laughs nervously) I...I... DAVID: If there was something that... KRIS: No, I didn't notice anything weird. Sounded good to me. I mean, I wouldn't have sent it on if it wasn't any good, so... DAVID: Well, no, I, I mean, I know. I just....blugh...it's probably just one of these stupid things where's it's like, you know, there's a certain way that I'm used to doing it. So, just the little picky things kinda just stand out to me, but umm...There's just a couple parts in it that just seemed a little rough, and I just wasn't sure if maybe I could...I co....I don't know, just like, maybe we could go over it a little bit or...? KRIS: Look, no, I mean, I don't know whose mic was static-y or what but I mean, that kind of stuff tends to happen. I mean, that'll happen to any show. I mean, you may as well just upload it. I mean, just upload it when we're done with this and...and...TMH16 is on its way, and then...we'll worry about that. DAVID: Well, let me just-- I mean, here, let me just pull it up real quick. Because, I...I just wanted to just get your opinion on one part that had me a little bit weird. KRIS: Part of last week's show? DAVID: Yeah, of TMH15. Let me just play this part. KRIS: OK.

(tape recorder start sound)

DAVID: All right, let's see what the Twitter says. @dustincoreale (sp?) says "Kris, you're out of your mind. Sweet potato fries are delicious. Use sour cream in place of ketchup." So, what he's saying...so hold on, let's take this to its logical extension... KRIS: (interrupting) Sweet potato fries! DAVID: ...Ketchup is sweet a little bit, right? KRIS: Sweet potato fries, I hate 'em. I don't like...sweet potatoes. DAVID: (simultaneously) ...and regular potato fries are salty. KRIS: I don't like those sweet potatoes, get 'em out of my mouth. (laughs nervously) I don't want to eat that. DAVID (simul.): So you take, you flip it up and you still have the correct proportion of flavors. It's just the...it's almost like you're playing Street Fighter and you choose Ryu with the blue gi. It's just palette-swapped... KRIS (simul.): Heh, Street Fighter. DAVID (simul.): Same combination, same...effect KRIS: Effect! DAVID: But...opposite... (Pause) KRIS: Yeah...I, I think it's an opposite effect...to, to be sure. It's a hundred percent opposite. DAVID: And we have, let's see... @boozerpro says "I dislike those incredibly long or way too short fries. Give me no outliers." I will disagree with this. I... KRIS (simul.): Yeah! Forget that guy. Forget. About. That. Guy. DAVID (simul.): I always used to like to find the one long fry. Whenever you get a serving of fries, there's always one that's about six inches long. If you are at the correct establishment... KRIS: (interrupting) You know what's funny, you know what's funny about french fries is that they always come in a red box. Why is that? Why do you put them in a red box when you can easily put them in another style of box? You know, I mean like, why don't they come in a little cup? You know what I'm saying? Why don't you put them in a burger container, or like a blue one so that like-- DAVID: There's a lot of surface area when that was in the fryer, sure.

(tape recorder stop sound)

DAVID: You see? Does it seem out of sync to you? Like, there's something weird about it. It's like, we're not quite lining up... KRIS: That's just...that sounded good to me. DAVID: No, there's parts where we're kind of overlapping a little bit and we don't really overlap... KRIS: I thought it was really funny. I thought that was a really funny conversa-, the old, you know, I thought that was a classic piece of Tweet Me Harder, the fry box. Don't like the sweet potato fries. DAVID: No, I remember that part. You were talking about how much you liked the sweet potato fr-, or you didn't like 'em. And then I talked about the thing. KRIS: Yeah. Right. DAVID: Yeah, I remember the bit from the show. But it just sounds a little bit like... KRIS: I didn't hear anything wrong with it. I think we were on...the top...tip-top form, David. And, umm...You know, I think it's good. Sounds good to me! No problems there. DAVID: I guess... KRIS: Can we...go...show 16, just... DAVID: No, I guess you're right. But, can you just...I'm sorry, I don't mean to hold up the works, but let's just take 5 seconds I swear. Just...can you just kinda walk me through, just for my own, just, like, edification, of sort of how you put it together. KRIS: Yeah, no problem. Absolutely. OK, so, every week when we stream the show, stream goes out live, puts our audio together. DAVID: Right, right. KRIS: ..and then you're recording your audio on your end. DAVID: Right, just my half of it. KRIS: Just, just your voice. And then on my end I'm recording just my voice. And then at the end of the show, you, last week you sent me your audio file with your voice, right, sounds great. And then I just took that, matched up our sync marks with my file of my audio voice, which sounded great. Which was totally, totally fine. Always sounds good. Always a great...great file. And I just synced 'em up, uh, put 'em together and I sent that on to you to upload. Just like anything. (nervous chuckling) And I mean, I thought it would be more difficult than it was, but it was actually really easy to do that with no slip-ups so, I mean. That is what you've got. DAVID: So, you-- And I remember sort of, the me talking about the sweet potato fries and stuff. But then there were some parts...It's just a little weird because the parts of, like your half of that part that we played? It doesn't sound like it meshes right, so that's why I thought maybe we were just out of sync a little bit. You know, 'cause if it slipped then we're going to start talking over each other and it doesn't match up perfectly. KRIS: Well, I mean, I...I mean as far as the thing with the sweet potato fries, I just thought you were in a real...umm, you know, you were just feelin' it. And you didn't let me talk just 'cause of that. You know, no problem. If you're feeling like you're in the moment, then go for it. Of course, I'll yield the floor as a good, you know, podcaster would to his cohort. DAVID: I mean, all right. I guess it's fine, but there's a lot of tweaks... KRIS: Well, OK. Well, look look look look. DAVID: ...and stuff that I'd like to do Maybe you can send me the sessions file, just before I upload it, I can look at the sessions file and I can sort of, just go over it. KRIS: Oh, I, yeah, I, pruh, so stupid. Nah, so dumb. You know, after I mixed it down to the CD quality file that I sent you. I just, I deleted the session file. I don't have a lot of free space and I kind of, you know....it's whatever...don't...figured we don't need that as long as we got the master. Right, so I mean, just didn't need that. Right? So.... (David inhales in exasperation and coughs) DAVID: Uh, so this is all that we have? This thing that you sent me is basically all that there is of last week's show. KRIS: Well, I've got this master that I sent you. And then, of course I've still got your half of the audio. And then... DAVID: Well, I mean, I have that much... KRIS: Right, you've got that too. And of course, I've got my half, because, as I record it every week. I always record my half. So, I guess we could technically just rebuild the thing if you're worried about it. But I thought we sounded good. DAVID: Well, I mean, could you send me... KRIS: Well, like…well, hold on, hold on DAVID: ...the way that we always do it typically is you send me your half and then I put it together..so could you just send me that... KRIS: Right, but you were going on that trip... DAVID: Well, yeah, I was gone over the weekend... KRIS: This whole big mess up, and uh... DAVID: ...so you said you were going to take care of it... KRIS: Yeah, and I mean, I took care of it. And that's the file I sent you and it's totally fine. DAVID: OK, look, I have a lot of hard drive space, Would it be OK, just for archival purposes, could you just send me your half of it so I could just take a listen to it and just kind of... KRIS: Uhhh....I could probably do that...I could probably do that. You know, once we're done. But I'm looking through the sessions file, which I just found, and it's-- it's-- it looks good. Looks like, I mean, it's crisp. We sync right up. I mean, here, like listen to this part. What's wrong with this part? Let me just play a little bit for ya'.

(tape recorder start sound)

DAVID: Cost factors, delivery factors, storage factors, and then meal factors as long as it's not upsetting to the meal experience. KRIS: Meal factors. Meal factors, I always think about meal factors (clears throat) of which meals you can have, factoring in the, uh, when you have a meal. You know what I mean, basically, with the meal factors...factoring in the meal... DAVID: Yeah, of course. Yeah, or jam or whatever. KRIS: Yeah, putting in the jam, putting the jam into the meal. Factoring...the jam in, if you know what I mean. Just kind of a, kind of a whole factor-related meal experience that you can have with a meal, that's, that's packet-driven. That's driven by me consuming a packet and factoring, if I could coin a term, into the meal, my meal. DAVID: Paper containers, describe paper containers to me. 'Cause I'm picturing a little cup that you squeeze into, that can't be right-- KRIS: David, I don't know where you're coming up with these paper containers, but let's talk about paper containers. When I eat a paper container full of ketchup, I am having a good- DAVID: Mmm. KRIS: --yeah, it's delicious, and I'm gonna love it, it's a great thing to have around handy in the house...to have... DAVID: Is there...now imagine the crate that these came in. Were they lined up like milk cartons or are they dumped in together like ketchup packets? KRIS: I'm pretty sure that all of these cartons were in the box, they're in the box together and they were just kind of...I don't know how they do it- DAVID: Really? KRIS: Yeah, I don't know how they do it. But it's, umm...I like it. DAVID: So clearly some engineering wherewithal went into this operation. KRIS: I..I mean, I'm no expert. I would assume that somebody's job is to make sure this is going good but, it's good in my stomach (laughs nervously). DAVID: Now, do you open the carton and then dip your fry in that or do you make like a spout and pour it out? KRIS: I'd pour it right in...I'd pour it right into my meal, whatever I'm eating. Each French fry or whatever you've got, just gonna put it...in...to...that, basically... DAVID: Well, your reputation proceeds you.

(tape record stop sound)

KRIS: See, that sounds great, sounds just classic Dave and Kris back and forth stuff. DAVID: Umm.. KRIS: Souinded good to me, talking about meals and, you know. You know how we get off on those tangets, there's nothing wrong with that. DAVID: Well, I just...I remember...it's like it sounds like I responding to things that you're not saying. Like, I remember the whole paper containers thing was something that you brought up and then I was asking you questions about it. KRIS. No...I'm pretty sure that I remember that you just kind of mentioned paper containers out of nowhere, like right there. DAVID: I...I...I don't even know what paper containers are! I don't even think that was something I was aware of before last week's show. KRIS: Who doesn't know what a paper container is? It's a container that's made out of paper. DAVID: But we were talking about like, sweet potato fries, and then ketchup, and then you said something about...ugh, what was it...I don't even remember. You went to a hotel or something, but instead of bringing the little McDonalds foil packet of ketchup they brought you the paper containers, and I’m trying to ask you questions about the paper- KRIS: No. that didn't happen. That didn't happen. I mean, why would that have happened in the show and then the recording of the show, which is like legal documentation of what happened, why would that not be in there? DAVID: Well...that's what I'm trying to figure out. Because it seems, it just seems weird because I remember the show going a lot differently than it did. So that's why I was trying to...that's why I just kind of wanted to see the audio files and just make sure it all matches up properly... KRIS: Well, I mean, I can send you, you know, like we usually do where you put it together but I mean, I can send you my half of the audio with just my voice on it, and you're gonna see that it basically matches right up with yours, and that's what I sent you. So, I mean, I don't even know why there's a need to go into this whole thing about it. DAVID: Well, there's this...there's a lot of points that just sound strange. Well, like here, it's hard to explain. but just listen to this part, and then you just, see if you can see what I mean. How we just don’t seem like we’re on the same wavelength. KRIS: All right, yeah, OK, sure. I'll listen to another, a little clip, whatever, it's fine.

(tape recorder start sound)

KRIS: Ha ha, ha ha ha ha! DAVID: Now what makes, what is fancy about ketchup? KRIS: Good joke. DAVID: About these particularly branded fancy ketchup? KRIS: I think there's an actual fancy component that is actually better. DAVID: (laughs) You think it's just marketing hoo-ha? KRIS: ....no, I think it's actually a better ketchup, and it's a fancier....I mean, because you can't...you can't just put fancy on there if it's not fancy. DAVID: (laughs) KRIS: (laughs) Yeah, I know right. DAVID: It would be horrible ketchup. KRIS: Yeah, and then it would be a bad ketchup to eat. (Pause)

DAVID (LIVE): Listen to that.

KRIS: the...that, you wouldn't want to eat it, because it's no, it's not...why am I gonna eat this if it's not fancy, I don't want to eat that..(nervous laugh)

DAVID (LIVE): There's all this dead air in the recording. KRIS (LIVE): No, it's not, what?

KRIS: I don't want to eat the, um....I don't want to eat the ketchup that is not…that doesn't say fancy.: DAVID: Now, do you- KRIS: Yep.

(tape recorder stop sound)

KRIS: Look, I mean, if you listen back to the other shows that we’ve done, sometimes there, umm, there’s pauses. I mean if we gotta think about something before we talk about it. There’s no reason to open our mouths if we don’t have something to say. DAVID: I don’t think we’ve ever had that problem. I think if there’s any problem that we have, that’s not one of them. KRIS: I think that is a problem we have often had. DAVID: Not coming up with something to say? I don’t think I’ve ever had that problem on this show. It’s the whole premise of the show that we can always come up with something to say on any topic. KRIS: Well, look, David, if you want to get down to the nitty-gritty, it was me who was trying to fill space there and it was you who didn’t say anything so…I don’t think you get after me for my-  You haven’t had a problem with the way I’ve done this show in like, you know, for 14 shows so far, so…I think it’s fine. DAVID: Maybe it’s just, again, one of those really picky things. Because when I take the show and I put it together, like, if there are some of those little pauses, I try to just close them up a little bit, try to make it a nice listening experience. So maybe it would be nice-, that’s kinda why I want to go back into the show a little bit and just smooth it out because stuff like that is a little bit awkward to listen to. That’s why I thought you could just send me that session file. I mean, I could take whatever you have in whatever stage of it and then I could just work on it a little bit more. KRIS: Umm, oh, OK. Well, umm, haha, check this out from the Twitter feed. Right now @JessePB says “Classic #TMH banter, factoring paper containers.” That’s just classic-, that’s just good stuff. DAVID: Wait…from the, from the Twitter feed? I thought we were down. I thought we were… KRIS: Umm..wow, whoops, OK, I guess we’re not down. Ha ha! Ooh. (David coughs in exasperation.) KRIS: That’s, well you know what though, it doesn’t matter. DAVID: Hold on a second, if you’re on the Twitter feed: if there’s anyone else that’s out there who’s listening that has kinda heard the recaps and maybe you listened to last week’s show live. Was there anything, like… KRIS: Ah, ha ha, I don’t…they don’t remember, they don’t remember. DAVID: Am I crazy here? Is this how the show went? KRIS (simul.): It is! It is how the show went. It is how the show went. DAVID: Or is there something, like…did it sound different when it was live? Use #TMH16 and just let us know, if this is actually…Like, because, it’s totally possible I’m just like super kinda picky about it and maybe it’s fine. Maybe it is fine. KRIS: You may be being really picky. I mean, I think it’s the first time that I put the show together and you were nervous that I was gonna mess something up, which I didn’t…which I did not do. So you are flipping out about that, and I mean you came back from your trip and the whole deal. And I’m sure it’s kinda nerve-wracking to jump back into things, but uh…you know, I, I got this. It was totally good. Totally good. Here, you know what, I think-, let me play you another part right here. You wanna talk about pauses and missteps and stuff like that? I think we sounded fine and I think this bears it out. Listen to this piece.

(tape recorder start sound)

DAVID: Right, take no effort whatsoever. KRIS: Takes no effort whatsoever. Um, hey David, why don’t you talk about the-, we had an interesting conversation about the thing with the long and the short, and the lengthening and the whole-, why don’t you bring that up again to talk about. DAVID: So do you think that the things that will grow-, well, so obviously, the things that shorten in length are the things that we use every day, that we get more used to, that we want to be able to discuss with more felicity… KRIS: Of course, getting…getting shorter. DAVID: But the things that grow in length that require additional qualifiers over time to distinguish them. Does that mean that we will be less likely to discuss them in the future because it’ll be more difficult? KRIS: Heh heh, heh…. I think bamboo is a really interesting…plant. It’s growing long, it’s always growing really long and then it grows, I mean it’s short when you cut it, obviously when you cut it it’s going to get short, but then when you get it longer, then that’s when it’s really tall. That is when it’s the tallest. And I mean, I read about bamboo on like Wikipedia and stuff where they’re like “This is the tallest-, this is a fast plant.” DAVID:…right, the acronym is not even going to fit on the trucks, because it’s going to be 14 characters long. KRIS: Yeah, you…acronym for growth size…speed. DAVID: So, nobody uses the mail anymore, USPS is in its dying throes, everyone’s using e-mail… KRIS (simul.): No bamboo in my mail!

(tape recorder stop sound)

KRIS: See, what’s wrong with that? DAVID: We did not talk about bamboo on last week’s show. KRIS: We were going back and forth about bamb-, about things that are getting bigger and smaller and… DAVID: We were talking-, I don’t even remember what it was but it wasn’t bamboo. I would remember talking about bamboo. But I don’t- KRIS: Well, I mean, OK, if that’s the case, then how would you explain that we were talking about bamboo in the clip I just played? (David breathes in) DAVID (laughing): Well, I don’t know, that’s what I’m trying to figure out! KRIS: Right? DAVID: You know what it sounds like to me. KRIS: Yeah? DAVID: It sounds like, ‘cause I remember me talking about-, like I can remember sort of where I’m going with this conversation. But your part sounds totally foreign. It sounds like, like you tried to re-record your half of it. KRIS (simul.) (nervously laughs): Wha-, what? What? That’s, a ha ha ha ha ha DAVID: After like, maybe, you didn’t record it correctly. And then you took my half and tried to fill in the whole other half of the show. KRIS: Oh, that is paranoia, my friend. You are-, that is crazy. We’ve been doing this show, for how many? We’ve been doing this show 15 weeks…16 counting today’s. Why would I ever forget to record my half of the-. I mean, that’s one of the first things we do when we start the show, we say “Are you recording?” Yes. “Am I recording?” Absolutely, I’m always recording. And, and away we go. Why would I pick last week of all weeks to do that? And then why would I try to re-record. I mean, do you know how much time there is to fill there? There’s like an hour’s worth of talk. You know? So much easier for me to just do it right from the beginning and not screw it up, which is what I did. I just did it right. DAVID: That’s what I would hope would happen. But I just, I don’t know, maybe it’s… KRIS: I didn’t mess this up, David. I thought it was good. DAVID: I was…when I asked you to put the show together because I was gonna be gone for the weekend- KRIS: Yeah, absolutely. You know I got your back. You know I got your back. DAVID: …I had kind of a certain expectation of how it was gonna sound, I guess. I just figured it would sound kinda like the other shows that I had done myself. KRIS: Well, I listened to those shows. DAVID: It didn’t sound-, like do you go back and listen to the podcast because the way that I edit the show is different a little bit from the live version. Like, do you go and listen to how I do it? KRIS: Before I put these together, I went back and I listened to every single one that you put together, just to make sure that was-. I mean, you have no idea how late I was up, the hours I kept trying to make sure this thing was gonna be OK to send to you, and (laughs)…I listened to what you did, made sure that what I did was just spot-on and just send it on so you could come home from your trip, get the file out of your e-mail and just upload it and not even have to listen to it or worry about it. Because I didn’t want you to have to worry, David. I didn’t want you to have to worry about- DAVID: Then why does it seem so weird? I have no explanation then for why-, it doesn’t even sound like a show that we did. It sounds like someone cackling along with the radio. There’s no- KRIS (laughs): Why would you believe that? I mean, obviously we were talking. I mean, look, OK, here’s another part that shows we were talking. Ready? It’s a real short clip and, I mean, it’s obvious.

(tape recorder start sound)

DAVID: Yeah there’s-, the last ten times I’ve e-mailed you, I haven’t even included a salutation. Because you know who it’s from. It’s just like sending you an instant message, we’re having a conversation, it’s just taking place in this other sphere. KRIS: David, I always enjoy getting e-mails from you, my good friend, and I hope that you continue to- DAVID: Well, I guess you are older than I am, so you are probably a generation in which men are- KRIS: Older and more fond of each passing letter, my dearest friend. DAVID: (laughs) KRIS: Ah, ha ha ha, ha ha ha ha ha

(tape recorder stop sound)

KRIS: See? We were laughing. You know, the old back and forth there. Totally fine. I’m talking about how we’re good friends. You happen to drop in how I’m a little bit older than you. And, uh, you know. Just having a good time. DAVID: Do you remember the Poll Me Harder from last week? KRIS: Umm, I remember what went on the air last week about the Poll Me Harder. I mean, I remember that you had put up a poll that, um, might still be on the website. But then when we actually started to record it, that you and I had agreed that we were going to do another-, we were going to do another thing. DAVID: No, no, I don’t remember that. I don’t remember that, no, we talked for like 20 minutes about that whole, umm, it was like a bathroom-related thing. I remember, like…hold on, if I search #TMH15 I bet I can find references to that whole… KRIS: Well, you can try, maybe-. Twitter probably doesn’t keep track of that for that long. DAVID: Hold on, let me see, #TMH15. KRIS: It’s not going to have any results so it’s fine. Don’t even… DAVID: We’ve got people asking about “where’s the show?” People saying it’s not uploaded. KRIS: Yeah, ‘cause you didn’t put the show up that I sent you that’s fine. It’s fine David! I feel like I’m in jail here. DAVID: Well, look, I…OK, if you guys are listening. Let me play you this clip from Poll Me Harder from the version of #TMH15 that Kris sent me, and you tell me if this sounds right. Because, I just have no recollection of it sounding like this at all, and it’s really starting to freak me out a little. KRIS: OK, I mean, whatever, that’s fine.

(tape recorder start sound)

DAVID: Well, that’s what happens here. Like, @cephalopodgal says “Give me your addresses and you will get the awesomest letters.” And, that’s great, I’d love to receive a letter, but does that mean that I have to write a letter back? And it’s not that I don’t like writing a letter, it’s just I don’t want that obligation. KRIS: I don’t like to be obligated to write letters either, David, and I think that when you… DAVID: All right, @cephalo- KRIS: ..write a letter, you b- DAVID: @cephalopodgal, write us letters care of Tweet Me Harder, uh.. KRIS: Write a letter and put it… David (simul.): …USA. And we will, uh, we’ll get right back to you. KRIS (simul.): Heh heh heh, that’s not a real address guys, don’t bother to send that letter, it’s not gonna arrive. It’s not gonna get to the us. (accordion sting plays simultaneously): You gotta find-, you need to get a real address. You need to get a real address before you- DAVID: So we have a function on this show called Poll Me Harder. KRIS: Poll Me Harder! DAVID: And the idea about Poll Me Harder, as you well know Kristofer, is to allow people a safe space to present some activity that they undertake without necessarily knowing how common it is to the rest of the culture at large. KRIS: Of course, David, and you know it’s very common for people to forget things that they talk about during the week. Don’t you think that’s interesting? DAVID: Right, they have something that they cannot share with other people in a traditional forum. It’s much easier to talk to strangers, especially anonymously, than to ask your friends “Hey, do you also do this strange thing or that strange thing?” So, it is in this spirit of service to the populace that we provide this opportunity for people to share their activities. So here is today’s call. KRIS: David, rather than read that question, I think what we should do is agree to what we talked about right before the show. And that we would find this other poll question more interesting. Not the one that you asked the question on the site, on Poll Me Harder, but this other poll question that I received personally from…another source. And, uh, can I play it, I’ll just go ahead and play it and we’ll do that this week, OK? Sure thing. Caller: I notice that a lot of the time during the week, I will have a conversation with somebody that can last between 45 minutes and an hour and 20 minutes, and I will forget most of what was said during that conversation. Umm, it’s very upsetting, but I believe that I can remember my half of the conversation, but I have no recollection whatsoever about what the other person said. And I’m wondering, is that normal? Because I read that it’s completely normal. KRIS: OK, what this gentleman is asking is whether or not it’s normal to forget- David (interrupting): Well, let me just say at the outset, I applaud this caller.. KRIS: Yes. DAVID: …This is the sort of thing that Poll Me Harder is designed to address. Because who is he going to ask-, he or she going to ask about this, right? Nobody. KRIS: Nobody, because it’s embarrassing to forget. DAVID: And- (cracks up) KRIS: Yes..that’s not funny. DAVID: “Excuse me Officer…” KRIS: “Excuse me Officer, I forgot, it’s not funny.” DAVID: “…do you know how fast you were going? Just a moment.” KRIS: “Just a moment because I forgot the number.” DAVID: Before you get to that. If I sign this, will you answer a question of mine? KRIS: (chuckles) DAVID: If- (cracks up) KRIS: Anyways, but anyways, about forgetting half of a conversation, this is very common. DAVID: Bathroom activities are something that someone knows how to do because they are taught. KRIS: Non-sequiturs are also some side effect of the- DAVID: Right? This is something your parents teach you at a certain age. And then whatever habit they teach you is the one that you adopt. Because you rarely in most cases have an opportunity to… KRIS: (laughs nervously in the background) David, a delightful sense of humor. A delightful sense of humor. DAVID: …compare notes with someone else… KRIS: Someone else! DAVID: Find out... KRIS: Find out what… DAVID: You just have to trust that what you’re doing is the right way, right? KRIS (simul.): …You just have to trust them. Just trust that it’s the right way.. DAVID: …As long as it’s effective KRIS: Effective! It’s gonna be effective if you just take it easy. ‘cause you’re going all over the place. DAVID: Exactly, it’s one of these things where if it does the job, the method is perhaps less than critical. KRIS: I agree 100%. So, I mean I have trouble remembering things sometimes too, so… DAVID: So, that being said, there’s little way to know whether a method, any particular method, is universal, so that’s why we have… KRIS (simul.): I’m not embarrassed. It’s OK. It’s OK to forget. Well, you know, the method-, exactly. DAVID: …extended this poll today. KRIS: Well, let me just say this, I have my own methods for remembering things, you have your own methods too. I don’t know if yours work. Mine do work. DAVID: Well, the options- KRIS: My options are that they do work. You know, you can make up poems… DAVID: The options are less than conclusive… (sound of door knocking in background) …Who is at my door? KRIS: I don’t know. Will you have forgotten by next week who it was? DAVID: (laughs) KRIS: Ha ha ha ha ha, You know what?... DAVID: I think I do have to open it. KRIS: I think you should answer the door because of what happened. Anyways, everybody, I just wanted to say David just left me a little IM. He said that I can put the button on this conversation. It’s totally normal to forget an entire conversation during the week. And the guy who called into Poll Me Harder should not be embarrassed because it’s totally fine. And don’t worry about it, and I wouldn’t even bother to see a doctor. Because it happens to everybody all the time. (David returns and sighs heavily) KRIS: Oh, now, don’t be frustrated David, that you have some memory problems. But let me tell you this. I am a true friend and I will stand by you no matter what. And, uh, I would never get upset at any wrongs that you did me. And I know I can count on you to do the same, that if I had done something, like some kind of a screw-up, that you wouldn’t be mad. DAVID: Yeah, I would think that you would want-. Well, I can understand someone saying that there’s no pattern because perhaps they will vary their technique depending on the circumstance. KRIS: There is no pattern… DAVID: And so if you… KRIS: …for forgetting! DAVID: Well, you know, I mean (laughs)… KRIS: I do know! Because I know, David. DAVID: I’m just talking about what kind of coverage you need. What kind of, you know, volume, or you know, repetition it might require. KRIS: Well, you know, hopefully all topics-, repetition, I’m glad you brought that up because it’s important to repeat something to be able to remember it. And if you don’t repeat something over and over again, you’re probably not going to remember it. And, you know, that could happen if you’re busy, or you go out of town, I mean you might forget things. DAVID: No, your technique can potentially be variable depending on the one factor that can change, which is you and what you have eaten, and how you feel. KRIS: Well, yeah, I mean, I guess what foods you eat might affect your memory. But I think that it’s more important to have some sort of a repetition in place. Now, if this conversation that this guy forgot was just very unique and singular, I can understand why- David (laughs): Oh, you want to hold up a protractor and figure out the- KRIS: ….well, I mean, I don’t know what the protractor’s going to tell you. But I know that anytime I have a really unique conversation, that I will forget- DAVID: Well, I think that’s going to be variable depending on the length of your legs, the thickness of your midsection, the length of your arms, that sort of thing. KRIS (simul.): David, no, I don’t think those are related to memory at all. I think you’ve got it wrong. DAVID: I tried to find options for the poll that were sufficiently different from one another. Such that someone doing it, you know, standing up is going to be a fundamentally different technique from someone who is crouching in mid-air with their knees not-locked. And I’m assuming that standing up means your knees are relatively straight. If not locked, at least straight. Your weight is over your heels… KRIS (simul.): That’s why we threw it out, that’s why we’re not using that poll. That’s why we’re not using that poll, David. We’re not using that poll this week, David. That is a different-. That is a different poll question. That is a different poll question. David, are you forgetting now? Are you forgetting now? I think you’re forgetting now. DAVID:... rather than your weight is sort of- KRIS: Well, David, I know that. But I think you’re being a little forgetful even now. I’m worried that you’re not going to remember next week what happened. DAVID: Well, that’s what I’m trying to figure out. Because I’m frankly surprised to say 20% of respondents saying “Standing up,” because when I picture someone standing up, I picture a more- KRIS: Well, no.

(tape recorder stop sound)

KRIS: You see? What’s wrong with that? Let’s go to the Twitter real quick. @SamuraiPaul says “Kris, you did a wonderful job and don’t let that mean villain-mustached man make fun of you.” Well, you know what, I stand by David. I know maybe you’re a little confused right now but I’m not mad at you, for that. DAVID: I don’t remember any of that stuff. KRIS: OK, well, here’s another one. @CadatJ says “I was here for the last show and this sounds perfect.” So, I mean, he was here. He knows what happened. So, I think it’s pretty ridiculous. I mean, honestly, here. There’s another one: @Captain0Fish says “I don't know what the issue is, but Straub is infallible when it comes to podcasts.” (link) Uhh, so, I mean with all that support, I don’t understand why-. Look, you’re stressed out, I don’t know what the deal is but it makes me bad when you accuse me of this hocus pocus where I somehow forgot the track I recorded and I made a new one because I was embarrassed or whatever. DAVID: Yeah, I don’t mean to be accusatory, that’s not what I meant. I wasn’t trying to say that you would do something like that, it’s just…it just seems so weird. Because it didn’t sound anything like what I remembered it. So I thought – I just wanted to try and figure out what was going on because otherwise, like, if there isn’t a technical explanation then the other explanation is that (David begins getting upset) I just couldn’t remember it. And that, I don’t want… KRIS: David, David, David, calm down. Calm down. You’re under a lot of stress. I know you had a trip to plan for and all that stuff. Maybe going out of town kinda spun you around a little bit. Look, maybe this clip from right near the end of the show is gonna kinda bring it home for you.

(tape recorder start sound)

KRIS: I hope you don’t mind me rephrasing it, David, but I think you have a serious mental problem, ha ha ha ha ha! DAVID: Yeah, rephrase it, because people learn different ways. Sometimes people learn visually, other times they learn, you know…there’s an audiobook version that sells well. KRIS (simul.): That’s true! People learn a lot of different ways. DAVID: … On their Kindle, some people like having stuff on the subway, they can sort of read up for the next time. Just the proper etiquette and so on for visiting friends. KRIS: Just refresh your memory etiquette, that’s all it takes. ‘S’all it takes buddy, no problem. Anyways, that’s it for Tweet Me Harder, for #TMH15. I hope you guys had a great show and a great week. David, have a wonderful vacation on your trip (Accordion sting interrupts) …And I will make sure….(clears throat) Yeah. The end. DAVID: Sounds like it’s been Tweet Me Harder episode 15. (laughs) KRIS: Oh wait, you know, let’s talk about snails for a second, if we could… (tape recorder stop sound) KRIS: Right? That was the end of last week’s show. I mean… DAVID: I guess so. Well, blegh, oh jeez, it’s like half-past. So I guess we better. KRIS: Why don’t we just go ahead and start the 16th show and we’ll do as much of it as we can. DAVID: I’m just gonna need a couple minutes though. Because this is really, like, I feel a little bit light-headed. It’s just so weird because… (TMH theme song cuts in)…no, no… Can I just get a few minutes? KRIS (singing along): …You got an erratic beat, you hear the voices shouting, gather round to the sound of the crowd but no crowding…ah, so good! DAVID: Are we starti-oh. KRIS (singing along): Man, you gotta lay it down, audio atropine. This ain’t your father’s podcast (mumbles “catastrophe” incoherently) (David coughs as if he might throw up. He then groans.) KRIS (singing along) Because you ‘bout to listen to

(David is breathing heavily through the following)

KRIS (speaking): Tweet Me Harder! Hey everybody! Welcome to Tweet Me Harder. The world’s first, best, only and last (slips into goofy Southern accent) talkback-enabled interactive audio podblast. This is the 16th episode. I am your host Kris Straub. DAVID: I’m uh, I’m David Malki !. KRIS: And this is the 16th episode of Tweet Me Harder. You can participate as always by using hashtag poundsign TMH one-six, #TMH16, to go ahead and participate with us. David, I am moving a lot of boxes around, and you know what’s funny about moving is, there’s always more stuff than you think there is. Right? David (breathing heavily): Yeah. Don’t feel so good. KRIS: Yeah, well…you doing OK? (David coughs) KRIS: We’re gonna get, uh…’cause I am moving!...right along. DAVID: So you’re moving, so you’re going to, you’re leaving…Texas, right? KRIS: Yeah, yeah, yeah, I’m not, uh, yeah. Yeah. So anyways, I’ve got boxes and boxes all over my house. They are stacked up high, and I don’t live in a very big apartment. (David begins coughing and wheezing) And I’m sitting here thinking how much of this stuff is mine? Is this all mine or what? I mean, I don’t understand what’s going on. This is just c-razy talk. Umm, OK, let- DAVID: You, uh, getting rid of your stuff? You gonna take it with you? KRIS: I’m getting rid of some of it. Let me tell you something, talk about weird. I mean, Craigslist, that is just a mess to deal with. I mean, you put stuff up on Craigslist that’s, you know, you don’t even want very much money for it. But I find it’s the people looking for the free stuff that’s the worst, don’t you? I mean, the people who come out and they’re like, you know, I really want them to take this free thing off my hands, and they’re looking at me like “Does it come in blue?” Ya’ know, come on man. I’m just gonna hand this over to you. Let’s, let’s make this transaction. DAVID: That happened to me once where I was trying to give away some free stuff. It’s like the people who come looking for free stuff don’t have any-, there’s no sense of obligation, so they’re just trying to, umm, they’re just trying to, umm, umm… KRIS (quietly): It’s all right, just..yeah… DAVID: Sometimes they don’t show up, right, because if they’re looking for free stuff they’re the kind of person who thinks it’s not worth paying for, so they’re not… KRIS: Absolutely! Absolutely. Let’s go to the Twitter feed here, we got @frostyplum saying “I know, boxes right? Will they ever end?” I could not agree more with that…sentiment…..So that’s looking pretty good. DAVID: Yeah, uh… KRIS: I mean, when you’ve got boxes, what do you do to handle all that stuff when you’re moving. Because you’ve moved once or twice. DAVID: Couple times. The last couple times I moved, it was a pain so I figured I’d have to use a moving service from now on. Just, it’s the kind of thing where… KRIS: That’s great, that’s the worst, yeah. DAVID: …Do I want to…It seems like when you have, your rent in your old place and your new place overlap by like a week, and you have two places for a week, it seems like that’s going to be a good idea, right, because that way you’re not rushed. You don’t have to have everything out of there. KRIS: No, you just gotta…yeah, exactly. DAVID: But I think that makes it worse because you end up having to do the whole thing, um, like it takes, normally, if you had to do it all in three days, it would get done in three days, right? But since you have that week, you end up driving across town 40 times, and you take half car loads… KRIS: Ugh, what a mess! What a mess. DAVID: Instead of renting a van and doing it all at once, you end up “Ah, I can fit it all in the Tercel” and then you end up doing it, and you’re in traffic for like five days (trails off, breathes). KRIS: You sure? You sound like you’re out of breath or something is going on over there. I mean… DAVID: No, it’s-

(Accordion Sting)

KRIS: What? Umm… DAVID (out of it): What were we talking about? KRIS: Well, you, yeah, you just played the switch-topics sound there. And we’re, uh. Hey! OK, Twitter feed time. @LarsBrown says “Free stuff goes on the curb, right? No fuss.” Right? Uh, David? DAVID: Uhh, yeah. It’s kinda like that thing where, you’ve heard it before, where it’s like, if you put something out on the curb, if it says “Free” then no one takes it, but if you put out a sign that says “$20” then someone takes it right away. It’s that whole perceived-value conundrum. Is there a thing in philosophy for that where it’s like, the perceived value is more important than the actual value because it’s the whole sentimental value thing where everything that you own has some kind of connection to something from your childhood even if it’s monetary value or its utility is low (breathes out) KRIS: Wow. Umm, I don’t know about that, uh… DAVID: Hold on, I gotta write this stuff down because I’m starting to lose track of what we’re talking about. KRIS: Yeah, you know what, maybe go ahead and just write it down. DAVID: “Perceived value.” Well, I just want to make sure that when we come back to, I don’t want to lose the thread of the conversation so I just want to make sure that I have… KRIS: No, it’s fine, go ahead, we will be patient. We know you’re going through some stuff right now, umm, and, uhh… DAVID: No, no, I thought. I was so sure. I don’t know if I’m getting older or something, I’m going to start to go to the doctor more often because there’s stuff that just happens. KRIS: Yeah, you know, I don’t think you should worry about it. Going to the doctor’s not a big deal, everybody forgets that kind of thing all the time and it’s just…It’s not even worth investigating anymore, David. DAVID: Hold on, let me see who’s on the Twitter. @frostyplum has a thing. @CadatJ, @thirdmike, then @frostyplum has a thing, @JessePB, @guggerfane has a thing, @theggerus, hold on, I gotta right this down. Six more results. KRIS: You probably should write it down. ‘cause Twitter’s not going to remember it. DAVID: Let me get like a text file and I can copy… KRIS: Yeah, you may as well just copy-paste that in there. DAVID: That’s probably a good idea. Just to keep track of this stuff, right? Because that way I can always CTRL-F it, and I can try and, if I have to look up, see. Because that way, yeah, the Twitter archives don’t go back, like, they lose ‘em. When we first started the show, like the Tweet Me Harder program in general, I just thought someone listening to- KRIS: A lot of stuff gets lost. A lot of stuff gets lost. DAVID: Well, I thought people listening to the podcast could, maybe like a week later or two weeks later, they could listen and then they could search for the hashtag and it could sort of come up, and they could read along in real-time while they listened to the podcast, but then I found out that the Twitter search doesn’t archive (begins hyperventilating momentarily) very long… KRIS: No, and it gets lost. It just goes away. DAVID: So, I think what I’m going to start doing is copying all the Twitter stuff, everything everybody says during the show, I’m just going to copy it down. And I’m just going to have a text file that we’re going to put up on the site…. KRIS: David, even Twitter forgets DAVID: And that way it’s just there. That way we don’t have to worry about Twitter’s archives… KRIS: Nope. DAVID: ...or any search function, because I just want to make sure that we remember it correctly. Because sometimes I don’t- KRIS: Just save it all. So you remember. We all remember. (David taps on his desk in the background)

(Accordion Sting)

DAVID: Welcome to Tweet Me Harder, this is the world’s first, best, only and last talkback enabled- KRIS: Whoa, whoa whoa, hey, hold on a second. Yeah, we did that already. DAVID: I was just resetting it because I gotta try and keep track of where we are in the show. OK, so what did we cover so far? We covered Craigslist. Moving from…where do you live, do you live in Houston? KRIS: Uhhh..I live in Dallas. You know what, I think that we- DAVID: Dallas. Hold on, wait, D-A-L-L…. Hold on, but when are you moving? I want to put it on my calendar. KRIS: Real soon actually. I mean, I told you before. You know what I’m gonna go ahead and say is that we probably ran a little late and we are just gonna go ahead andddd… (Ending music begins playing underneath conversation) KRIS: Let’s just go ahead and call it #TMH16. DAVID: Wait, wait, but we started late, no. We… KRIS: Well, we started late but, I mean, it’s getting late. I think maybe you need to lay down. I think, just don’t worry about it, just come back refreshed for next week. And, um… DAVID: OK, well, thanks for tuning in for Tw-, T-, T-, Tweet Me Harder.. KRIS: Tweet Me Harder. DAVID: …16. And stay tuned because right after, we had some problems with last week’s show, so what we’re going to do to make it up for you is we’re gonna start show 17 right away, right after. We’re just gonna do a double-header tonight. Tweet Me Harder double-header. #TMH17 is gonna start right away after this show. KRIS: No, no we’re not gonna do that. You’re gonna go lay down and then we’re gonna do #17 next week, when it’s time to do that. DAVID: Ummmmm, well this is, hold on, this is the 30th of September. So we can do a show tomorrow and that’s gonna be the first of October, we can just get a head-start on the month, right? And then #17 will be on the first, and then we’ll do show 18 on the second. We’ll just gtet a bunch of them in the can… KRIS: No, no no, I mean, there’s- DAVID: …Because I feel like I just want to do them more frequently, I think. It’s something I was going to talk to you about off the air. Because I don’t feel like I’m really retaining stuff from the previous- KRIS: I feel like I think you’re doing great. I think you’re worrying for no reason and we’ll just do them week-to-week like we’ve been doing it. And don’t, you’re gonna be fine. Next week will be totally fine. I bet you you’ll remember all of this. I bet you that this will stay right in there. So. DAVID: Umm, Twitter. Let’s look at the Twitter. KRIS: I’ll just stop playback. (end music stops) DAVID: @CadatJ says “Don’t let Kris’ silver tongue fool you. #TMH15 is all a lie.” KRIS: What? That’s so…uhh, hey! Thanks for listening to #TMH16 everybody, I think David really does need to lay down now. DAVID: We have umm..he says “Straub played you, it’s all a lie. Straub played you!” KRIS: “Straub played” video games all weekend. He was playing Halo and it was a lot of fun. So that’s what he meant by that, or she meant. I played with them. I played with them online. DAVID: @Sekelsky says “Kris has been bribing the Twittering audience. It’s all lies”! (bangs on desk) KRIS: There’s no lies here. Just a lot of fun conversation and we will see you next week. (end music restarts) Thank for listening to episode 16 as always. Go to tweetmeharder.com… DAVID: THE SHOW IS NOT OVER! THE SHOW IS NOT OVER! KRIS (simul.): …and you can remember to leave us a voicemail at 864-64-TWEET. And we will see you next time. DAVID: What’s going on Kris? I feel like it’s…

END